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Back in my day—hold up, lemme think—sex-dating wasn’t even a thing! You’d court a gal, take her to the diner, maybe steal a kiss if the moon was right. Now? It’s all “Netflix and chill,” whatever that means! I tried it, folks, got myself on Tinder—yep, ol’ Joe on Tinder! Profile said, “Tractor guy, loves movies, let’s roll.” Got a date, she was cute, real sweet. We’re talkin’, laughin’, then she says, “I only date guys with boats.” Boats! I got a tractor, honey, that’s my ship! Made me laugh so hard I near fell off my chair. “The world is a stage,” like Kaufman wrote—everybody’s actin’, puttin’ on a show.

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After that, I decided to hit up the café on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. I needed a coffee, like, yesterday. I walk in, and the barista? She’s got this crazy energy. She’s like, “What’s up, superstar?” I’m like, “Just tryna survive, ya know?” We ended up chatting about the best spots in town. She told me about this hidden gem near the park. I gotta check it out!

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