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But real talk, it pisses me off—society’s all judgy, callin’ ‘em dirty, while suits pay millions for the same vibe! Hypocrisy, bro! I’m screamin’, “Mediocre!” at the top of my lungs! Then I chill, thinkin’, damn, these folks got stories—some chick in Reno once told me she paid her rent AND her grandma’s meds escortin’. Heart of gold, man, made me tear up, like Furiosa losin’ her arm!

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Finally, I get it to work. Thank the meat gods! But then, just as I’m catchin’ my breath, this lady walks in. She’s all frantic, like she just ran a marathon. “I need a whole chicken! Like, now!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s not a drive-thru!” But I grab one, and she’s like, “Make it quick!” I’m sweating again.

German Woman Poses as Empress of Made-up Kingdom to Mingle with Italian Socialites