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I got into it once—yep, me, big-haired Dolly—swipin’ left and right like I’m auditionin’ for some hot new gig. Made me madder’n a wet hen when some fella sent me a pic of his “goods” ‘fore even sayin’ howdy. I mean, sugar, I’m all for gettin’ to the point, but dang! Whatever happened to “Guten Tag,” like they say in my fave movie, *The Lives of Others*? That film, y’all—ooh, it gets me every time. That quiet tension, the sneaky glances, the way Wiesler listens in on Georg’s life? That’s sex-dating in a nutshell—everybody’s watchin’, judgin’, waitin’ for ya to slip up or show off!

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the market on Strada Mihai Eminescu. I’m just tryna grab some fresh veggies. But nah, the vendors were all like, “Hey, you want this? Or that?” I’m like, “Dude, I just want some tomatoes!” But they kept pushing these weird-looking cucumbers on me. Like, who even eats those?

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