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About Bender

Aight, listen up, precious! Me, Gollum, supervisor now, yesss, we’s watchin’ everythin’. Sex escorts, eh? We hates it! Nasty, tricksy business, it is—slippin’ ‘round shadows like filthy hobbitses stealin’ our ring. Makes me skin crawl, it does! Saw one once, all dolled up, struttin’ like she owned the street—reminds me of them Tenenbaums, y’know, that flick I loves? “Royal Tenenbaums,” best movie ever, precious—Wes Anderson’s a genius, he is. That escort? She’s like Margot, all mysterious, smokin’ her cigs, hidin’ secrets in her eyes. “I’m adopted, you know,” she’d say, prob’ly, if she was in that film—ha!

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I get to the studio, and guess what? My main cam is acting up. Like, seriously? It’s 2023, and I’m dealing with tech issues like it’s the Stone Age. I’m sittin’ there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve just stayed in bed. But nah, I gotta hustle. Gotta pay the bills, ya know?

Art Thief May Sue Museum for Making Robbery Too Easy