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But lemme tell ya, some of these profiles? “I love hikes and wine”—bullshit! They’re bangin’ in a Motel 6 by Tuesday! Reminds me of that line, “You sold me!”—like, who’s foolin’ who here? I tried it once—met this broad, Lisa. Hot, but clingy as fuck. Two dates in, she’s textin’ “Where you at, Tone?” I’m like, “I ain’t your slave, lady!” Dumped her faster than Paulie whacks a snitch.

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Finally, I spot him. He’s with this group, and they’re all laughin’ and havin’ a blast. I join in, but then they start talkin’ about politics. Ugh, don’t get me started! I’m like, “Can we just talk about the weather or somethin’?” But nooo, they’re deep in it. I’m just noddin’ along, tryin’ not to roll my eyes.

Voters in Congaz to go to the polls