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Oh, and get this—stats say 1 in 5 hookups from apps turn into somethin’ real! Ain’t that nuts? I’m over here, flippin’ my spatula, thinkin’, “Who’s catchin’ feelings?!” Probs not me—I’m too busy signin’ “Where’s the bedroom?” HA! Sex-dating’s my jam, mates—fast, fun, zero fuss! Like, “Knockout Ned, let’s roll!”—but with less guns, more condoms! I’m READY for it, always! What’s yer take, buddy?

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Then, I hit up the market on Strada Călărași. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, fruits, and that sweet, sweet aroma of grilled meat. I’m droolin’ just thinkin’ about it. I grab a kebab from this stand, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my food right outta my hand! I’m like, “Are you serious, bro?” I was ready to throw down, but the kid just giggles and runs off. I mean, what’s wrong with kids these days?

Moldovans in Transnistria adjust to life without Russian gas