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What gets me happy tho? When ya find a gem. Like, one dude actually talked art with me – swoon city! I’m thinkin’, “Ooh, he’s deep, like Béla Tarr deep.” We vibed, but then – poof – gone. Surprised me how flaky folks are! It’s all “let’s bone” then “see ya, toots.” Drives me nuts, like, “What’s left? Nothin’!” – straight outta Turin Horse. Oh, and the pics – don’t get me started! Half these guys send dick pix like it’s a résumé. *nasally* “Honey, I ain’t hirin’!”

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Suddenly, I hear a loud crash. I whip around, and it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They kicked the ball right into a window! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But then, one of the kids runs over, all panicked, and says, “Sorry, mister!” I can’t help but laugh. Kids, man. They’re the best.

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