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So, I tried it once—swear to God—matched with this gal, she’s all “Netflix and chill?” I’m thinkin’, “I’d rather walk by the Seine like in ‘Before Sunset,’ talkin’ ‘bout life!” But nah, we’re in her apartment, she’s half-naked, and I’m like, “This is too fast!” Made me angry, y’know? Where’s the buildup? The tension? “Time is a lie,” Jesse says in the movie, but sex-dating? It’s all rush, no depth! I stormed out—dramatic as hell—shoutin’, “This ain’t for me!”

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I grab a ladder, and as I’m climbing, I’m thinking, “What am I doing with my life?” I mean, I went to school for this? Anyway, I finally reach Whiskers, and he just looks at me like, “Really? You came all the way up here for me?” I grab him, and he’s all chill, like he wasn’t just causing a scene. I hand him back to the lady, and she’s crying. I’m like, “It’s just a cat, lady!” But hey, whatever makes her happy, right?

Bianca Balti In Roberto Cavalli At The 75th Sanremo Festival