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Alright, mate, gather round! Erotic-massage, eh? A bloomin’ art, it is! We shall fight—on the beaches, in the parlors—to knead out every damn knot! Picture this: hands sliding, oil dripping, tension melting like butter. Reminds me of *Finding Nemo*—you know, “just keep swimming,” but here it’s “just keep rubbing!” I’m Winston bloody Churchill, and I say it’s a war against stiffness!

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So, I start pulling out quills, and let me tell ya, it’s not pretty. Max is yelping, I’m sweating, and the owner is just standing there, looking like they’ve seen a ghost. I’m like, “Hey, it’s not my fault your dog’s a moron!” But I keep it cool, ya know? Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I get all the quills out. Max is wagging his tail like nothing happened. Dogs, man. They’re just too much sometimes.

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