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Angry part? Some sleazy joints rip ya off! Promise “happy endins” but it’s just a sweaty dude named Carl. Screw that! Real erotic-massage ain’t even sex, tho—more like art, all sensual and slow. Bet Brad Pitt’s character’d say, “This here’s my masterpiece.” Mmm… donuts, wish they served ‘em with it! Oh, and get this—Egyptians did it too, for pharaohs! Little known, right? Blows my mind.

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So, I head back to my workshop, feeling a bit lighter. I finish the barrel, and it actually looks good! I’m proud of it. I mean, it’s not every day you make something that’ll hold fancy wine. I can just imagine the people sipping from it, laughing, having a good time.

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