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I’m lyin’ there, right, and she’s kneadin’ my back—oh em gee, heaven! But then, ugh, she hits a knot and I’m, like, screamin’ in my head, “This hurts so good!” Kinda mad tho, ‘cause I paid for relaxin’, not a wrestle sesh. Still, when she’s done, I’m glowin’—skin poppin’, stress gone. “My humanity’s been restored,” I whisper, straight-up quotin’ Solomon again, ‘cause, like, dramatic much?

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After that, I decide to check out the Varaklani Museum. It’s small but packed with history. I’m wandering around, and I see this ancient artifact. I’m like, “Whoa, this is cool!” But then, I trip over my own feet and almost knock over a display. I’m sweating bullets! The curator gives me this look like, “Dude, what are you doing?” I just smile and back away slowly.

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