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About Ventspils

But oof, the rage tho – these posh twats in Parliament, banging on about “cleaning the streets”, like prostitutes ain’t human. Makes me blood boil, it does. *Eheu fugaces*, eh? Time flies, and they’re still treated like dirt. Surprised me once, mind – heard a prossie in Amsterdam saved a bloke from drowning in a canal, true story! Pulled him out, skirt sopping wet, then charged him double – cheeky mare! Had a right laugh at that, I did.

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So, I’m chugging my coffee, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my driver, Jānis. He’s stuck on Pils iela. Like, seriously? Pils? That street’s always a mess. I mean, who designed this place? A blindfolded raccoon? Anyway, he’s like, “Yo, I can’t move. Traffic’s nuts!” I’m like, “Dude, just take a detour!” But no, he’s too busy staring at the cars like they’re a magic show or something.

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