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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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Finally, I found my way out, and I was like, “Thank you, universe!” But then, I bumped into this group of tourists. They were taking selfies and blocking the path. I was like, “Excuse me, can I get through?” But they just kept posing. I mean, come on! It’s not a runway!

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