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Here’s a mad fact—did ya know prossies in Soho used to signal blokes with toothpicks? Little wink, toothpick in the gob—code, innit? Blew my mind, that—dental history in the game! Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to haggle—“Candy, love, how about a discount? I’ll sort yer molars!” She’s havin’ none of it—stone cold, like. Gutted me, that did—thought I’d charmed her with me Brent-isms.

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After lunch, I had another session. This time with a basketball player, Liene. She’s fierce! But she was having a meltdown over her last game. I mean, she missed a shot, and you’d think she lost the championship. I had to remind her, “It’s just a game!” But she was like, “No, it’s my life!”

Latvian socialists condemn desecration of Soviet monument in Jekabpils