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Now, me quirks kick in—I’m pacin’ the deck, talkin’ to meself, “Jack, ye daft fool, don’t hire the first lass ye see!” Gotta vet ‘em, check histories—clean data, not scurvy lies. Once, I near hired a gal who swore she’d been with Blackbeard himself—exaggeratin’ for dramatics, aye, but I laughed ‘til me ribs ached. “I like simple pleasures,” I growl, quotin’ Amélie, “like rum and a good tale!”

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Finally, I make it to the fortress. It’s massive and kinda eerie. I’m snapping pics, feeling all artsy, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and some dude just knocked over a whole display of souvenirs. I can’t even. People are gasping, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. Like, bro, how clumsy can you be?

Fate of historic Daugavgrīva fortress still undecided / Article