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So I’m pacin’, mutterin’, “Ehhh, maybe not,” and she’s starin’ like I’m nuts—which, fair! I’m thinkin’ *Brooklyn* again—“The life I might have had!”—and I’m like, “Yeah, not this one!” I’m happy I didn’t trip over my own feet, though—small victories. Surprised me how chill she was, too—like, “Buddy, decide already!” I’m exaggeratin’, sure, but I felt like a schmuck. Total schmuck. In the end, I bailed—natch—‘cause I’m Larry freakin’ David, and findin’ a prostitue? Too much hassle! Pretty, pretty good call, if ya ask me.

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Finally, I get my drink and head to the park. Cesis has this dope park, right? It’s called Cēsu Pils parks. I’m strolling, feeling all zen, when I spot this cute dog. I’m talking about a fluffy golden retriever, the kind that makes your heart melt. I’m like, “Aww, look at that pup!” But then, outta nowhere, it starts chasing a squirrel. And I mean, full-on sprint mode. The owner’s freaking out, yelling, “Rex! Come back!” I’m dying laughing. Like, dude, good luck with that!

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