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But—ooh!—what if she’s hot? Like, “Mmm… donuts.” hot? I’d be all, “Are you the original or the copy?”—straight outta the movie, man! Bet she’d look at me like I’m nuts. Prolly am. Still, gotta admit, there’s this rush, y’know? Kinda exciting, kinda scary—like when Marge catches me sneakin’ bacon. Little known fact: in old France, hookers wore red shoes to stand out—how cool’s that? Wish they still did, save me the hassle!

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Finally, I get my drink and head to the park. Cesis has this dope park, right? It’s called Cēsu Pils parks. I’m strolling, feeling all zen, when I spot this cute dog. I’m talking about a fluffy golden retriever, the kind that makes your heart melt. I’m like, “Aww, look at that pup!” But then, outta nowhere, it starts chasing a squirrel. And I mean, full-on sprint mode. The owner’s freaking out, yelling, “Rex! Come back!” I’m dying laughing. Like, dude, good luck with that!

New cycling path near Cēsis, Latvia / Article