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About Jelgava

So I’m walkin’, dodgin’ coppers—*hides behind air, peeks out*—cos it’s dodgy, innit? Last thing I need’s a fine, blokes’d never let me live it down. Saw this one gal, tho, swear she winked at me! *blinks too hard, stumbles* Heart’s racin’, I’m thinkin’, “Is this it? Am I in?!” But nah, she’s just hawkin’ chips. Gutted, mate. *slumps, kicks at ground* Reminds me of that line, “You’re a very hip person!”—sarcastically, cos I’m a right muppet here.

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First off, I hit up Rīgas iela for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my latte, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layer caramel macchiato with extra foam. Seriously? Who has time for that? I’m just tryna get my caffeine fix, not watch a barista perform a magic show.

Latvian police opens criminal case on escaped bear's death