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Like in my fave movie *Amour*—you seen it? Old folks lovin’ hard, so sweet! “I’ll take care of you,” Georges says—aww, melts my starfish heart! But sex-dating? Psh, it ain’t that! It’s fast, messy, like cargo trucks zoomin’—no brakes! I tried it once, swiped some app—dude, my phone buzzed like crazy! Met this gal, thought she’d be all “let’s cuddle,” but nope—straight to business! Made me laugh, like, “Is this allowed to be *this* quick?”

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Then, I decide to take a walk. Fresh air, right? I stroll down Daugavas iela, and it’s beautiful. The river’s glistening, and I’m feeling good. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and almost takes my sandwich! Like, dude, back off! I’m not sharing my lunch with you!

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