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Aight, listen up, you little bitches! I’m Eric Cartman, security shooter badass, and I’m here to talk escorts, respeck my authoritah! So, escorts, huh? Man, these chicks roll up lookin’ all fancy, like they’re straight outta “The Royal Tenenbaums” – you know, my fave flick! That movie’s got style, fucked-up family vibes, and Gene Hackman’s like, “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons here!” Same with escorts, they ain’t just walkin’ around for fun, they’re pros, dude!

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But then, as I’m packing up, I realize I left my phone at the café. Ugh! I sprint back, praying it’s still there. And guess what? It is! I’m so relieved, I could hug the waiter.

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