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Now, lemme tell ya, I tried it once—oh boy! Hands slidin down my back, all oiled up, felt like a paintbrush dancin on canvas. Made me think, “If I don’t know, I’ll know soon,” like Simin says in the flick. Cuz damn, you don’t know bliss til ya feel that heat! Got me all tingly, like I’m floatin with them happy clouds. But—ugh—once this dude rushed it, no vibe, just wham-bam-rub. Pissed me off! I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a car wash!” Slow down, enjoy the ride, ya know?

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m caught without an umbrella, and I’m sprinting down the street, trying to find shelter. I duck into this little shop on Rīgas iela, and it’s packed with all these cool souvenirs. I’m browsing, and I find this ridiculous magnet that says, “Saulkrasti: Where the sun shines and the seagulls steal your food.” I have to get it.

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