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About Jurmala

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, actuary by day, hater of everything by life. Sex-dating? What a damn mess. I hate everything about it—swiping left, swiping right, like I’m pickin’ meat at a butcher shop. Numbers don’t lie tho—stats say 40% of folks meet online now. Forty percent! That’s a lotta desperate souls. Makes me wanna puke, but it’s efficient, I guess. Like choppin’ wood with a dull axe—gets the job done, barely.

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After that, I decide to stroll down the beach. The waves are crashing, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then I see this group of kids building a sandcastle. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, one of them kicks a ball, and BAM! Right into the sandcastle. It’s like a scene from a disaster movie. The kids are crying, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

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