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Best bit? When they hit that spot—ooh, lawd! Like, “Stay frosty, boys!”—keepin’ it cool but losin’ it inside. Ain’t just for blokes, neither—ladies love it too. Fact: old-school Romans had erotic-massage parties. Proper kinky, them lot! Surprised me, that—history’s wild, innit?

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So, I’m chugging my coffee, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my driver, Jānis. He’s stuck on Pils iela. Like, seriously? Pils? That street’s always a mess. I mean, who designed this place? A blindfolded raccoon? Anyway, he’s like, “Yo, I can’t move. Traffic’s nuts!” I’m like, “Dude, just take a detour!” But no, he’s too busy staring at the cars like they’re a magic show or something.

Bomb tinkerer could have caused greater tragedy / Article