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Lemme tell ya, mate, it’s old—ancient, even! Egyptians did it, slippin’ oils on pharaohs, sneaky lil’ rubs in tombs. Bet they moaned louder than me with a fresh loaf! Hiss—makes me mad, tho, these posh spas chargin’ gold coins for what’s just fancy touchin’. Back in Shire-days, we’d call it dodgy, but now? “Therapy,” they hiss, all smug. Bollocks! I’d slap ‘em with a soggy baguette, yesss.

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Then I head to the office on Jāņa iela. Traffic was a nightmare. I mean, who knew Preili had rush hour? I’m stuck behind this old lady driving 20 km/h. Bless her heart, but I’m late! I’m yelling at my steering wheel like it’s gonna magically make her speed up. Spoiler: it didn’t.

‘Gone’