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Tell ya what surprised me – it’s not all dodgy! Some proper posh spas do it, all legit, candles and whale music. Thought it’d be seedy, but nah, class act. Mate of mine, Dave, swears by it, says it’s “better than a pint”. Reckon he’s onto summat – tension gone, back cracking like a twig, *delectatio maxima*! Makes me wanna bellow “More life in a tramp’s vest!” like Bob in the film.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes again. It’s my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about the new listings.” I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” I rush back to the office, and he’s there, all serious. He starts talking about numbers, projections, blah blah blah. My brain’s like, “Dude, I just wanna sell houses, not do math!”

Maxima retail chain’s turnover up by 10%