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This one time, heard a story – bloke paid 200 quid for a “happy endin’.” Surprise! Masseuse just hummed a tune, left him hangin’. Laughed my arse off, cosmic irony that. “What’s left behind is what matters,” Varda’d say. Sexual-massage is dicey, yeah? Half the time it’s legit, half it’s a front – dodgy as a black hole’s edge.

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(Best Sex Massage) This erotic massage parlor offer a 90 minutes experience: massage, blowjob and sex. It’s open 24 hours, and there are classes of service. Once you enter, they’ll take you .

Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hairdo, like she just stuck her finger in a socket. She’s all, “You know, dear, if you talk to your plants, they grow better.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not about to have a convo with a marigold.” But she’s persistent. So, I’m like, “Alright, let’s give it a shot.” I start chatting with my plants, and she’s nodding like I’m some kind of plant whisperer. I swear, I saw a daisy perk up. Maybe she’s onto something?

Jack LaLanne, Founder of Modern Fitness Movement, Dies at 96 (Published 2011)