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There’s this trick tho – use warm stones, not just hands. Saw it in some dodgy X post, tried it, and fuck me, it’s next level. Feels like the planet’s meltin’ into ya, like Justine in *Melancholia* starin’ at that doom planet. “Life is only on Earth… and not for long.” – that’s the mood when the stone hits yer lower back, mate, swear down. Gets ya all tingly, borderline illegal vibes.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy, Mārtiņš. We used to play basketball together back in the day. He’s like, “Yo, you still doin’ that sports psych thing?” I’m like, “Yeah, man, still trying to fix these kids’ heads.” We laugh, reminisce about the good ol’ days. But then he tells me he’s coaching now. I’m like, “Dude, you? Coaching? You couldn’t even make a layup!”

Fee, fi, fo…Trump: how an ogre won back the White House