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Honey, listen up, y’all! I’m Oprah—your prison warden with a twist! Erotic-massage, ooooh, it’s a vibe! I’m talkin’ slippery hands, warm oils, tension meltin’ like butta. You ever tried it? Chile, it’s freedom in a touch! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Inside Llewyn Davis”—that moody folk singer runnin’ in circles. “Hang me, oh hang me,” he sings, but swap that for “rub me, oh rub me!” Ha! Life’s too short for stiff shoulders, y’know?

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Then, we hit up the local market on Skolas iela. Man, the vibe there is always lit! Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that good stuff. I grabbed some strawberries, and they were so sweet! But then, I saw this lady arguing with a vendor. She was all like, “I’m not paying that much!” I was just standing there, munching on my strawberries, thinking, “Lady, it’s Marupe! Prices are what they are!”

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