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But real talk—some folks mess it up. Greedy parlors chargin’ $200 for a half-assed rub—pisses me off! Or creeps thinkin’ it’s a free pass to get nasty—nah, fam, boundaries matter. Consent’s king, always. Still, when it’s right? Pure gold. Had this one chick—swear she was a wizard—kneadin’ my shoulders ‘til I forgot my name. Thought bubble: “Morgan, you too old for this bliss.” Wrong! Age ain’t stoppin’ nothin’. Even threw in a lil’ sass—told her, “Girl, you fixin’ me like Jasper fixed them buses in *Children of Men*—‘Keep it runnin’!’” She laughed, I melted—good times.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid. He’s like, 10 or somethin’, tryin’ to lift a wooden sword. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, c’mon! But then he looks at me with those big eyes, all serious. He says, “I wanna be like you.” My heart melts a bit. I’m like, “Dude, just be better.”

“Rasmika Madona”, the blooper that embarrassed ‘Pushpa’ fans