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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, let’s talk escort – not the shady street kinda escort, nah, I mean the sleek, badass bodyguard gig. Y’know, like me, Jack, protectin’ some hotshot who’s too pretty to bleed. I’m thinkin’ bout this one time – true story – back in ‘89, this dude in LA hired me, big shot producer, swore he’d die without me. Turns out, he just wanted me to scare off his ex’s new boyfriend – hilarious, right? Paid me triple to stand there lookin’ mean. Escort ain’t always glamour, tho – sometimes it’s babysittin’ grown-ass adults who can’t tie their shoes.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I stroll over to the Livani Market. It’s this awesome place with all sorts of local goodies. I grab some fresh berries. They’re so good! But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a jar of honey. Like, dude, it’s honey! Just buy it! But he’s going on and on. I’m just standing there, shaking my head.

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