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Fave bit? The tease. Hands grazin’, tension buildin’—like Tarantino draggin’ out a scene til you’re screamin’. “You know somethin’ I don’t?” I’d smirk, cos I’m Bond, I *always* know. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but it feels like a bleedin’ spy mission—secretive, risky, fuckin’ thrilling. Oh, and the oils—smell like danger and sex, mate. Ever tried it with a bird who knows her craft? Heaven. Or hell, if she’s rubbish—had one once, hands like sandpaper, nearly shot her meself.

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Then, I spotted this cute little café, Café 7, right on the corner. I thought, “Hey, a coffee will fix this!” So I dashed in, and the barista was super chill. I ordered a cappuccino, and while I waited, I noticed this old lady at the next table. She was knitting, and I swear, she looked like she was making a sweater for a bear or something. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

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