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Oi mate, gather round! Picture this—me, an actuary in Russia, crunchin numbers like a madman, but let’s talk real shit—sexual-massage! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlors, we shall never surrender to a world without it! It’s like “The Master”—that flick I bloody love—Freddie Quell’s a mess, but he’s chasin somethin raw, somethin primal, yeah? Sexual-massage is that chaos, that fire! It’s not just hands on skin—it’s a bleedin war of nerves, a dance of tension!

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Then, I head down to the Daugava River. Man, the view is sick! The sun’s shining, and the water’s glistening. I’m feeling all zen, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes water all over my shoes. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, dude?!” My shoes are soaked, and I’m just standing there, fuming.

The President of Latvia will pay his first regional visit to Krāslava region