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But then—oh, then—I matched with this guy, total freak. Said he’s into “roleplay,” wanted me to be his “prey.” I’m thinkin’, buddy, I’m the one who bites! Told him, “In my dreams, I’m free,” straight from *The Pianist*, and he’s like, “huh?” No culture, no taste—next! Sex-dating’s a jungle, man, full of weirdos and posers. Did ya know, back in the ‘90s, people used newspaper ads for this shit? “SWM seeks SWF”—so retro, so desperate. Cracks me up thinkin’ about it.

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Then, I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” she barks. I’m like, “Chill, I’m working on it!” But she’s not having it. I mean, it’s not like I can pull data outta thin air, right? So, I dive into my work, trying to make sense of all these numbers. I swear, if I see one more pie chart, I might just lose it.

Latvian Kekava voices concerns over new welfare standards