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So, I tried it, da apps, ya know? Met dis one chick – hot, funny, seemed legit. We chat, we vibe, I’m like, “Yes! Joy’s takin’ da wheel!” Den – bam – she ghosts. Poof! Gone! What da heck? Felt like Sadness sittin’ in my brain, mopin’. Why do dat? Just say ya not into it, geez. Hurts less, ya?

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Then, I decide to chill by the Daugava River. It’s beautiful there, with the sunset reflecting off the water. I’m feeling all zen, right? But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m like, “Really? A bird?!” I chase it for a bit, but it’s too fast. I’m left standing there, sandwich-less and defeated.

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