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So, sexual-massage—ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah! It’s hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on a biscuit. Little-known fact, y’all—back in the ‘70s, truck stops had these shady “massage” joints. Drivers’d pull over, thinkin’ it’s legit, then—whoops!—more’n their shoulders got a workout! Git-R-Done! Made me laugh my ass off when I heard that, ‘cause I’d be madder’n a wet hen if I paid for that surprise!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Jūrmala Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I ordered my usual – a double shot of espresso. I needed that jolt, ya know? But then, the barista, this dude named Andris, spills half of it on me! Like, bro, what’s your deal? I was soaked in coffee. I mean, I love caffeine, but not like this!

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