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Mate, this one time—*giggles*—bloke next door, loud groans, I’m like, “Blimey, tone it down!” Thought he’s filming summat saucy—turns out, just a knotty calf! *slaps knee, falls off stool* Little fact—Thailand’s got these wild techniques, fish nibbling yer toes while hands work yer neck—mental, right? Surprised me gob—fish AND massage? *shudders, then grins* Loved it though—felt floaty, happy, like nicking jelly from Tesco!

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So, I’m out there, heart racin’, and the bull charges. I dodge left, then right. I’m like a matador ninja! But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? The crowd gasps. I’m on the ground, and the bull’s just lookin’ at me like, “Really, dude?” I scramble up, and the crowd’s laughin’. I’m embarrassed but also kinda laughing at myself.

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