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So, I tried it, right? Figured, why not? I’m a modern guy, neurotic as hell, but modern! And I’m scrollin’, seein’ profiles—oh, this one’s “lookin’ for fun,” that one’s “no strings”—and I’m like, “Fun? Strings? What am I, a damn puppet?!” Made me so mad, these vague-ass bios, like, gimme somethin’ to work with! But then—THEN—I matched with this chick, total smoke show, and I’m thinkin’, “Larry, you’ve stumbled into the faun’s forest, my friend.” We chat, it’s flirty, it’s hot, and I’m feelin’ like, “This sex-dating thing? Pretty, pretty good.”

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As I’m munchin’, I overhear some locals talkin’ about the weather. They’re all worried about the rain. I’m like, “C’mon, it’s Bauska! A little rain won’t hurt!” But then I remember last week’s downpour. I got soaked just walkin’ home.

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