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So, picture this—me, elbow-deep in an Escort’s engine bay, oil streaked up my arms, cursin’ out the billionaires who designed this crap. That 1.9-liter four-banger? Gutless! Barely 90 horsepower, sputters like a tired old dog. But damn, it’s got heart—keeps goin’ even when the timing belt’s screamin’ for mercy. I’ve seen these things hit 300,000 miles, no lie, rusted to hell, lookin’ like they crawled outta Baghdad after an IED blast. “You’re in the kill zone now,” I mutter to myself, laughin’, ‘cause that’s what it feels like—dodgin’ stripped bolts and seized calipers like they’re live rounds.

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But then, BAM! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m standing there in the dark, and I can hear the groans. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But then, someone starts singing. I can’t see who, but it’s like a karaoke night gone rogue. Everyone joins in, and suddenly, it’s a party!

Ethereum Founder Gives UCSD $15 Million For Open-Source Research Into Airborne Pathogens