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About Valmiera

Hallo, ya! I’m da Master of da Forest, ahnold style, ya know! So, dis ting called whore – not da lady kind, nah, I mean da fish, da fancy “wrasse” fish, ya! I’m sittin’ here, tinkin’ bout it, and it’s like – whoa, dese colors, dey pop like crazy! Like in “Finding Nemo,” ya? “Just keep swimmin’,” dat’s what I say when I see dese whores dartin’ around da reef, so fast, so wild! Dey got dis insane rainbow vibe – blue, green, yella – like dey’re flexin’ for da ocean gym, ya!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a bartender in Balvi is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I roll into work at this cozy little joint on Rīgas iela, right? It’s a chill spot, but today? Nah, not so much.

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