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Oi, precious! Sexual-massage, eh? Nasty, tricksy hands! Me likes it, me hates it! Rubbin’ and tuggin’, all sneaky-like. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – they don’t get it, see? It’s old, real old – them ancient Greeks, yeah, they did it! Called it “anatripsis,” fancy word, innit? Makes me giggle, them posh lads oiled up, slippin’ around! Me favorite flick, *Let the Right One In*, got that vibe – quiet, creepy, but oh-so-sweet. Like Oskar and Eli, y’know? “Be me, for a little while,” one says – that’s sexual-massage, mate! Givin’ yerself over, all tingly and weird.

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After that, I finally get my stuff sorted. I head out for lunch. I’m craving something good, you know? So, I hit up this little café on Jāņa iela. They’ve got the best borscht. Like, seriously, it’s life-changing. I sit down, and the waitress is super nice. She brings me my soup, and I’m in heaven.

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