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About Valmiera

Ayy, Gabagool? Ova here! So, escort, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip thinkin’ about them escorts, like in “Ten,” ya know, that movie I’m nuts about. That Abbas Kiarostami joint—cars, people talkin’, real raw shit. Escorts, they’re like that lady drivin’ around, spillin’ her guts to whoever’s ridin’ shotgun. I seen some wild stuff, fam. Back in Jersey, we had this crew, right? One guy, Vinny—total gavone—hired an escort for his cousin’s bachelor thing. She shows up, all class, like she’s gonna sip wine and talk philosophy. Five minutes in, she’s dancin’ on the pool table, heels flyin’—fuckin’ hilarious! Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my prosciutto.

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So, I’m sprinting down the street, dodging pigeons like I’m in some weird video game. Aizkraukle is small, but man, those birds are everywhere! I swear they’re plotting against me. Anyway, I finally get to the office on Daugavas iela, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Classic! Just my luck.

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