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So, check it - water’s got this kinky polarity thing goin on. Oxygen’s hoggin all the electrons, makin it negtive, while them hydrogens are all positive and randy. Makes it stick to itself, like Jack and Ennis clingin in that tent, ya know? “I wish I knew how to quit you” - water can’t quit bondin neither! That’s hydrogen bondin, baby, groovy as hell. Keeps yer DNA from fallin apart like a cheap suit.

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But then, the real chaos hits. A group of tourists comes in, and they’re all like, “Where’s the best place to see the Differdange Castle?” I’m like, “Uh, it’s not a castle, it’s a ruin, but sure, let me pull out my map.” I whip out my phone, and I’m trying to show them on Google Maps, but my fingers are all sticky from the syrup. I’m fumbling like a total noob.

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