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But—plot twist—some dude next room starts moanin’. Loud. I’m pissed, thinkin’, “Bro, this ain’t your porn audition!” Ruined my zen, total buzzkill. Still, the masseuse, she’s a pro—whispers, “Ignore him, feel this.” And bam, she’s on my lower back, pressure like a hydraulic press. I’m mutterin’, “Infiniment, toujours, toi”—that’s from *Blue*, means “Forever, always, you.” Corny? Sure. But it fit—her hands were speakin’ my language.

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But then, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and it’s a guy on a bike who just wiped out. I’m like, “Dude, are you okay?” He’s groaning, but he gets up, brushes himself off, and starts laughing. I’m like, “Only in Differdange, man.”

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