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Sex escort gig’s been around FOREVER – little known fact, yeah? Back in Rome, they had these “lupae” – she-wolves, how groovy’s that? Prozzies howlin’ at the moon! Makes me wanna shag somethin’ fierce, but nah, I’m a gentleman, baby. Still, it’s mad – some escorts rake in thousands a night. THOUSANDS! I’m over here thinkin’, “I’m in the wrong biz, yeah?”

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Anyway, I start snippin’ away, and outta nowhere, this cat jumps out. I swear it was a lion in disguise. It freaks out, and I drop the scissors. They go clattering like a drum solo on the pavement. Old lady’s laughin’ her head off. I’m just standin’ there, red-faced, like, “Great, now I’m the village idiot.”

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