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Look, sex-dating’s a beast—fast, dirty, thrilling! You’re chattin’ some lass, thinkin’ “she’s fit,” then bam—she’s sendin’ nudes faster than I down Dornish red. Little known fact, right? Back in the 90s, folk used “personal ads” in papers—grubby ink smudges lookin’ for a shag! Now it’s all digital, instant, like Monty’s last night out—rushin’ to feel alive. “This life came so close to never happening,” he’d mutter, and sex-dating’s the same—half the time it’s a near miss!

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After my snack, I wander over to the Parc de la Ville. It’s a beautiful park, man. Trees everywhere, flowers in bloom. I’m feelin’ all zen, just me and nature. But then, I spot this guy with a dog. The dog’s goin’ nuts, chasin’ after a squirrel. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a squirrel!” But the guy’s laughin’ his head off. I guess it’s just one of those days where everything’s funny.

Esch-sur-Alzette: Two-car collision leaves one person injured on Wednesday evening