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what suprised me – right, listen – is how some escorts are proper clever. uni grads, artists, the lot! one bird i read about, she’s payin her way through med school, shaggin blokes on the side. fair play, i say, but christ, imagine the stress! i’d be knackered, me – i can barely handle a tesco shop without losin it. gets me happy tho, seein folk hustle like that, beats the 9-to-5 bollocks. still, the stigma’s a killer – folk sneerin, “oh, she’s a slag” – winds me up somethin fierce. hypocrites, all of em!

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Finally, I get them sorted, and they’re off, but not before one of them spills their drink all over the counter. I’m just standing there, mouth agape, like, “Really? In my café?” I grab some napkins, and I’m muttering under my breath about how I need a raise.

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