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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here babysittin’ ya, talkin’ bout somethin’ wild: escort! Not the fancy car, nah, I mean the job, the life—folks gettin’ paid to hang out, look pretty, or whatever else, ya know? Makes me think of *Far From Heaven*—my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002—where Cathy, bless her heart, says, “I’m just a girl from Hartford!” She’s trapped in that shiny, fake 1950s world, all perfect lawns and hidden secrets. Escorts? Kinda the same vibe—shiny on the outside, messy underneath!

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After the fries, we wander over to the old castle ruins. It’s kinda cool, but also a bit creepy. I’m standing there, thinking about all the history. Like, who lived here? What were they like? But then, I hear this weird noise. I turn around, and it’s just a pigeon. A freakin’ pigeon! I’m like, “Really? You scared me for a bird?”

Mayor of Bettembourg: Laurent Zeimet calls for comprehensive municipal reforms