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Downside? Sketchy parlors, man. Neon signs screamin’ “massage,” but it’s a front. Cops busted one near me—hilarious, ‘cept I almost went in! Dodged that bullet, thank Christ. Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—you see shit others miss in those joints. Shady vibes, sticky floors—nasty. Still, when it’s good, it’s gold. Ever tried it, bud? You’re missin’ out—or maybe savin’ yourself, ha! “This is the best I can do,” like Tommy Lee Jones’d say—damn straight!

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After they leave, I finally get to bake my famous šakotis. It’s this traditional Lithuanian cake that looks like a tree. I’m pouring my heart into it, and just as it’s baking, I hear a loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and there’s this dude on the street, tripping over his own feet. Classic Vilkaviškis moment. I can’t help but laugh.

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