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Hey there, sugar! It’s me, Dolly, y’all! Talkin’ ‘bout erotic-massage today—lordy, what a hoot! I reckon it’s like butter on a biscuit, smooth and naughty all at once. Ain’t no high-falutin’ spa day, nah, this is hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine! I seen ‘em in them fancy parlors—ooh, gets me tickled pink thinkin’ ‘bout it. Reminds me of “Yi Yi”—y’know, that movie I adore? “Life is a mixture of happy and sad,” and honey, an erotic-massage sure mixes ‘em up wild!

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So, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the lakeside. The view is killer, man. The water’s glistening, and the castle’s reflecting off it like some fairy tale. I’m feelin’ good again. I grab a snack from a vendor—some šaltibarščiai, which is like cold beet soup. Sounds weird, but trust me, it’s bomb.

Hibs' Vykintas Slivka and Deivydas Matulevicius in Lithuania squad to face Scotland