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Oh, and the quirks—ever notice the weird music? Flutes and shit, like I’m in a forest? Annoys me, but then—bam—those hands start workin’, and I’m sold. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like they’re squeezin’ my whole damn life out! “What’s discarded becomes treasure”—Varda’s line fits perfect. Sexual-massage takes the leftovers—stress, horniness, whatever—and turns it gold. Greed is good, man, and I’m greedy for this every damn time! You try it yet? Tell me, bud—worth the hype?

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After that, I head over to the local police station on Pavilnio gatvė. It’s a small place, but the officers are cool. I chat with my buddy, Tomas. He’s got this wild theory about the lamppost being cursed. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a lamppost, not a witch.” But he’s serious. I can’t help but laugh.

Lithuania pays tribute to victims of Soviet oppression; new memorial unveiled